This talk was recorded on May 7 2024 at 18:56. I had gotten myself out of a pretty threatening instance, and after I had received an invitation to, and arrived at, safe private luxury lodging where I was able to have my physical, social, and neurological needs met, I recorded this audio.
I’d gone from a borderline trafficking situation to one that met my needs overnight, and this talk was my way of working through it and ensuring that my body was letting go of the trauma. I recorded it on the penthouse balcony of a luxury apartment building in Warsaw while receiving the healing photons of Solaris, and as my soul returned to my body.
What had happened was the following:
I had received lodging from someone who I’d met at a Gurudwara (Sikh Holy Temple and Community Center). They’d originally told me that I had a place to sleep at the Gurudwara, but I found out when I took him up on it that because of my female body, they could not house me (I want to write more about this, especially in regard to that the International Sikh Organization did not return my phone call when I asked for a meeting with a female officer about how I was put at risk for human trafficking due to gender discrimination, but that will have to suffice inside parentheses for now). After I broke down sobbing in the Gurudwara because I had noplace to stay and only enough money for a night or two in a safe hostel, it was arranged that the person I’d met would rearrange their house for me. It became a bad situation right away, one I recognized energetically immediately: I was told that I had to attend religious services and that I had to shower first, and despite the good heart of my host, they were unaware that they were demanding my energy, presence, attention, and entertainment at a radically unfair exchange rate.
As I write this, I want to acknowledge that I am not placing blame, and I wish this person to remain anonymous: they lacked malice, though were quite dangerous in that ignorance (a key point to the talk, which is intended at supporting people being aware of the dangers of manipulative charity), and I can see how the relationship manifested because I needed to learn mutiple lessons from different angles, including how I have played the opposite role in the past. I didn’t even realize that last bit until writing this introduction. So, sharing this is active Shadow Work for me. We teach what we most need to learn.
The Talk
The talk is given assuming that the listener is at least marginally familiar with Dominance and submission as concepts, but this is not necessary to benefit from the information. However, the listener will be open to being introduced to these concepts. As someone who was initiated into being a Professional Dominatrix even before I had heard about Rainbow, the lens of kink and BDSM is foundational to much of my work.
The style is "teaching memoir" as a personal story context for a lesson: it was given in response to an experience that I had of being "in detriment" while having given some of my power away as a Dominant to a person of lower rank in exchange for my basic needs being met. This brought on what was, in reality, a risky and abusive situation, which, immediately after I left (and therefore retrieved my power back), brought on reactions that shared much with classic abusive-relationship dangers.
Thus, the topic of *the sadism of (some) charity* is addressed. This phrase is not given in the talk, but may be expanded later.
Other topics include energy work, awakening, & reclaiming true nature.
To download the Root Chakra Singing bowl track I reference, please visit this link: https://cherylanneruebner.com/store-sound-healing-recordings/
AUDITORY SENSITIVITY NOTES:
at about 19:25, my phone vibrates, making a startling sound
at 27:55 through 30:00 there are sirens
38:30ish through 39:10 dog bark
ROUGH NOTES IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER:
-necessary when leaving abusive relationships
-how to navigate power siphons by people "helping" you
-how to navigate the battle/war of taking your energy back
-using the lens of RPGs to understand these processes
-how asking for charity puts one in a very vulnerable power play position
-trafficking is an extreme version of this sort of abuse
-warning signs of "charity abuse," even when they are a good person with good *conscious* intention
-importance of the subtle. subconscious. & unconscious Control motivations of "helpers"
-navigating charity abuse as a Dom
-if consent is not fully informed and free to deny, it's abuse
-pornography, the largest international human trafficking organization, is responsible for the Grave Miseducation of BDSM.
-BDSM = BuDdhiSM
-receiving charity with strings attached = abusive situation, disempowering
-abusive charity holds the receiver's energy in nonconsensual bondage
-how false charity is actually energy theft
-how this theft probably already happened, even unconsciously, in another realm
-& therefore how getting into such an abusive situation in the first place is actually an acting-out, or manifestation, of something that *already happened* in the energy realms
-what the abuser will do when you break the abuse contract and move on (grappling/grasping), when the *real*, nonabusive, transparent, natural energy placement and power dynamic is restored
-the danger of being present to show up in your Rank, even in the kindest and most loving way, when the former energy thief is present without backup
-parallel with abusive situations and human trafficking
-what to ACTUALLY DO to rake your energy back: breathing through feet or root. vibration and frequency entrainment, slow down breath and reaction. don't react
-topping from the bottom
-differentiating from a person being our enemy, from knowing that they are not well and that we must protect ourself from their damage
-recovering your power means becoming a Teacher, being a good example
Free stock photo of lightbulb in hands on a black background by Gursharndeep Singh
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Take Your Power Back: Recovering from Energy Theft under the Guise of Charity